The Life of a Goblin
by EndrewSwiftwind
Summary: This is my friends D&D fanfiction. I don't own this story, he does. Summary in first chapter. Good story so far. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Life of a Goblin**

**Disclaimer- Neither me not my friend own D&D. However my friend does own this story and characters. So here, I own nothing!**

Chapter 1:

**A.N.- Hello, my name is Jack. I know a lot about D&D, I play a lot as a goblin, mostly as mages and warriors. So, I admit, I die A LOT, in D&D, but it is still fun. I will replay my D&D on paper. Okay, so let's explain more about my knowledge, and how long I've been playing. My knowledge is limited, but that is because I'm a stickler to mage, archer, and warrior. Some people say ranger, but I like to go old-school. My main character is an archer. I have been playing roughly 2 and 1/2 years, (AD: Go to Fantastic Games in Columbiana, OH, to play D&D on Wednesday nights at 6 pm, $3.50 to play!) Alright, enough about me in real life, let us go to my character, Tuur Uk, (My real name was actually JackAwesome, but give me a break, I was nine.)**

_We start out in the woods, with Tuur Uk running for his life._

"_Pant, Pant, Pant" Why won't these Elven robbers just give up?" _I ask myself, as I quickly notch an arrow and fire into the trees behind me. I start running again and hear a loud "THUMP" as an Elven body falls out of the trees. I keep on sprinting, I see a dead tree with an hollow in it, easily big enough to hold a fit goblin with leather armor, an dagger, and a bow and arrows. I pick up speed and dive into the hole shoulder first with ease. I see rhe Elves run past. But, one stops and he checks my hole, I pull him in and stab him to death with my dagger. Stupid Elves with their great hearing. They heard the rustle and the muffled screaming. The rest of the elves come back and capture me, ( I did kill a few more in the process though).

One says, obiously the leader, in sleek common "Time for you to please the king".

**A.N.- Hope you enjoyed my friends first chapter! Please review! Endrew and Jack the Goblin out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.- Well since you are reading this the first chapter wasn't too bad I guess. Please read and review. On with the story!**

**Disclaimer- We don't own D&D.**

Chapter 2:

When we got to "The King", I saw that they meant a Dwarven king. Of course, before the Elves got me there, a dragonborn named Kyle rescued me. But, he was heading for the king too,... Yeah.

So, he gave me my weapons back, but he said "Put the weapons away.", in rough goblinoid. But, stupid me, I kept them out. So, when we entered the MAIN LOBBY, I got arrested, two dwarves hefted me on their shoulders.

I was screaming in common ""KYLE, KYLE, HELP ME OUT OVER HERE!"

But Kyle said, "I don't know you." and walked behind the guards.

When we got to the king, he asked Kyle," What should I do with this assassin, my loyal subject?", For a dwarf he had a very smooth voice, as if he carved his own lungs, (Dwarves were expert miners, and their hallways, rooms etc. were always smooth and never varied from its course.)

Kyle said "My Majesty, I can introduce you to a game that I played in my home village." The King was skeptical, but agreed. Kyle brought us out to a field, gave all the dwarves, the king, and himself a warhammer. Kyle said, "Goblin, roll into a ball, as tight as you can". I did so immediately. "Now, your majesty, this game is called Goblin Ball, there are two nets, a goblin rolled into a ball, and warhammers. You have two teams, and you try and hit the gobin ball into the other team's net." A dwarf came carrying two fine mesh nets, and two dwarven-crafted steel poles of two meters in height. "Thank you Orin." Kyle said, taking the items from the dwarves' hands. He put them together and set them apart roughly a bow shot away from each other. "My Majesty, you can pick first or hit first, which will it be?" The king got a cruel look in his eyes, "Pick first," he said. So they each picked a team of 11 people including themselves. They set me into the middle of the field.

A wizard announced in a magically enhanced voice "PPLLAAAYYYY BBBAAAALLLLLL!" For the next immeasurable amount of time I was hit around the field by giant warhammers. I was beat to near death, then healed, near death, healed, etc. Finally, His Majesty won 10-5 although I think Kyle was going easy on him and me. But, Phew, I SURVIVED!

**A.N.- Hope you enjoyed this chapter and remember to review! Endrew and Jack the Goblin out!**


End file.
